| Monday, November 23rd, 2009 |
| 10:15 am |
Taz update
I don't think I've posted in nearly a year. I don't even know how many people out there still even read this. I use livejournal mostly for networking with other moms about parenting, breastfeeding, and pregnancy stuff. I am anti-facebook due to my mom who stalks the info and same with myspace although I really like the diverse population on myspace. It's been almost a year since I graduated and still no job. Economy sucks! I was gonna move back to New England but that didn't happen. I met someone and moved an hour north. I moved to Georgia for a few weeks this summer. Then moved back settleing back in the same place I started. I'm 28 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. My girl is now 2 years 4 months old. |
| Monday, December 22nd, 2008 |
| 6:49 am |
Taz News Flash #2
I'm leaving on a plane this morning that lands in Hartford, CT late this evening. I will be in the Valley for the holidays with my 'lil angel in tow. |
| Thursday, December 18th, 2008 |
| 7:37 pm |
Taz News Flash
I signed the divorce papers today. The last twing on the tree was when after he told me I wasn't on his priority list of things to care about right now he not asked me but told me I had to be temporary guardian to that 1 1/2 month old baby he just had with the girl he cheated on me with. I just can't do it anymore. I know in the long run Emma and I will be better off but it doesn't make it any easier. I know that there is someone out there that will have love, compassion, and respect for me |
| Monday, October 27th, 2008 |
| 2:56 pm |
2 steps forward 1 step back
Is it one step back or three steps back. Anyway I guess you may get the idea. I got a lot done today but if never seems to get me ahead of the game. I dropped papers off at DSS for their Children's Christmas giving tree program. I took a shower and ate breakfast this morning. I did dishes twice. I wrote two letters and sent them off. I got the mail twice. I thought I got today's mail but then I saw the mail lady come. I selected and ordered several prints that I need for my senior portfolio. I have to order everything because the photo department isn't carrying color photo chemicals until spring. I bought new filters for the furnace and installed them. I returned the glass milk jug to the store for a deposit back and bought some foods that I thought my dear daughter would eat. She's refusing to eat at home right now. So I bought foods that they normally serve her at daycare. I ate lunch today even if it was a little on the late side. I sent several e-mails pertaining to art and school. I called Don Montileaux to see if he could send me some more ledger paper to draw on and invite him to my senior exhibition but he said he has a show at that same time. Boo-hoo! I paid for and picked my cap, gown, and tassel for graduation and bought a yummy coffee drink which kept me warm walking to the library where I checked out two books. Then I forgot that I was suppose to go to the Restistrar's office to drop off my diploma order sheet so I stuck it in an envelope and am just going to mail it out to them tomorrow. The building it needs to go to is never on my way to anything. BUT... BUT... but I did not shoot any film, draw any ledger art, paint any canvases, process any film, print anything in a darkroom, work on anything even partaining to my website, frame, mat, or anything of the sort today. Thus I feel no closer to my goals for graduation which include a full working website, 40 matted turned in prints in portfolio form to my professor, 20 matted and framed prints + other art for my senior exhibition, and a fully functional portfolio containing artist's statement, 2 resume's (art + regular), bio, and 20 slides on CD. Current Mood:  guilty |
| Sunday, October 5th, 2008 |
| 1:02 pm |
Changes in my life (x posted)
The Changes in my life I've pretty much made my mind up in my head that within the next year I am moving back to New England. I've been offered free space for an art studio and what artist can turn down a free art studio? Besides a lot of my friends are having babies now and its a good chance to raise them together. I had some good memories growing up that I sure would like to share with my daughter like sledding down hills, apple orchards, dairy farms, Maple tapping, Local area artists, and all that fun New England stuff. I'm going to tell my husband this afternoon how it is. Although I love him more than most things and he says he's ready to change his life through treatment and counseling I just don't feel as he will really try and his real motivation is to try to get out of bad situations he's gotten himself into. |
| 1:01 pm |
Senior art crazies (x-posted)
Senior Art Crazies I'm shooting more film now than ever. I'm averaging 3 rolls a week. Myself as in artist seems to be in balance right now while other parts of my life throw themselves out of balance. I'm journaling, sketch booking, printing, processing, and emerging myself artist-wise. This week I have been busy morning until night and I am exhausted. I want to take a trip to Pipestone, MN tomorrow but six days of absolute craziness with the sixth day being toting a one year old along for a 4 hour round trip photoshoot seems pushing it a big much. I may just opt for spending the day around the house in my PJ's and napping when Emma naps. Well I had more to say but I am currently at school and need to dry some photos. |
| Friday, September 5th, 2008 |
| 10:28 am |
A little something extra
I got a little something extra from the Farmers Market yesterday. I bought brocoli and I brought it home and soaked it in water and when I looked over there were inch worms on the top saying 'hey you put me in water and I can't swim'. So I got rid of the little buggers and finished washing the veggies and stuck them in a pan with a little olive oil and threw it in the oven. Well I missed a worm and he got baked up too. Hopefully just a little extra protein but that's gross to see in your pan. |
| Thursday, September 4th, 2008 |
| 8:39 am |
Day 3, New Routine
I got up at 6:30am. Dropped Emma off at daycare at 8:30am then dropped the car off at home and walked to the gym. It felt awsome. This gym has my favorite machines. Including the assisted chin up machine and that one that works your inner thighs and they always face it toward the wall so people aren't staring into your crotch. There are many reasons I hate the university gym here. The gym is always filled with football players and athletes who are always hogging the machines. You have to walk up a millions stairs to get to the gym loft area so your too tired to work out once you get there. You have no control over the TV's. The one water fountin in gross and the machines are limited. No chin up thing, no inner thigh thing, only two elipticals which are always in use, and no professional help if you need or want it. So I had a great workout and feel great. I ended my workout with Jason Castros version of 'Somewhere over the rainbow' which reminds me if I try hard enough I can get over the rainbow too where dreams come true. I'm gonna go jump in the shower and get ready to walk to class. Current Mood:  energetic |
| Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008 |
| 8:07 pm |
Day two, first missed class
Well it's been an interesting day. Emma had PT at 9:00am. After I dropped her off at daycare I did some stuff at the house had lunch and went to work for a few hours. My first class was tonight. Since it's at night I have to get someone to watch Emma instead of daycare. Well I go to drop Emma off and no one was there but I had this funny feeling so I drove by the hospital and sure enough my feeling was correct. The person who was gonna watch Emma, her daughter was giving birth. Just before I got there she had started pushing and 8 minutes before my class was to start we heard her first cries from outside the hospital room door. They wouldn't let any of us in for the next hour. Mommy, Daddy, and baby time ya know. So I totally missed my first class but births and deaths rank pretty high on the excuse list. |
| Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008 |
| 3:17 pm |
Day one (afternoon)
I got most of my to-do list accomplished. I picked Emma up from daycare and she seemed to have had a really great day with her buddies and showing off her scooting skills. Normally by this time of day I am a little frazzled and have been with her all day and she's grumpy but today we've been apart and we are both very happy to see each other by the end of the day. My frustration towards others continues and it's really not worth trying to allow time to help people out or make plans with someone because you normally end of waiting around for hours only to be stood up and not have gotten anything done for yourself. |
| 9:54 am |
Day 1 (Before noon)
This morning has been productive and feels pretty good. I got up at 6:45am. I brought Emma to daycare at 8:30am and updated them on her current needs. Feeding, naps, what she's allergic to, and what skills she needs to work on. Since then I have Bought an assignment book with the academic schedule in it from the bookstore. Mailed out Emma's one year portraits I took to family members. Made my first counseling appointment at the student counseling center. Got a money order for my local arts council membership at the bank. Took myself out for a nice diner style breakfast and signed myself up for a gym membership. So now I am going to clean up the house a bit, check some e-mail, and then go pick up my workstudy card at the Ed School building. |
| Monday, September 1st, 2008 |
| 10:27 am |
Last Semester
My last semester starts tomorrow. I'm excited and terrified at the same time. I always try to set goals for myself now so I have something to work towards for myself. My goals for the semester are to be art minded and career oriented. To successfully create a logo, website, business cards, and full portfolio in which to present myself and my work. To complete my senior show with the least amount of stress as possible and for myself to work towards being emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy. |
| Wednesday, August 27th, 2008 |
| 6:26 am |
Change for the good
I'm frustrated with my life and the lives of those around me. You come to points in your life where you know you need change. I've come far. I have done much but now it's time for something new but what? I'm feeling frustrated that I don't feel like I am really moving forward. I'm frustrated with those who are resistant to change and for those who are unhappy but will not make change happen for themselves. |
| Wednesday, August 20th, 2008 |
| 10:02 am |
Today is definitely not going my way. Emma woke up several times during the night and then was up before 7am. Then at 10am I tried to get her to take a nap so I could take a nap too. She just cried for an hour. Threw her sippy cup at me and was mad. She was setting her head down and rubbing her eyes so I know she was tired. The minute I get dressed and decide to give up this nap effort she falls asleep on my bed and now I won't be able to take a nap. |
| Wednesday, August 13th, 2008 |
| 8:23 am |
Things are going okay right now. I'm dating someone and he loves Emma to pieces. We watched 10,000 B.C. last night. Emma is now one year old and still teething. Cranky cranky. She got her one year shots yesterday too. Gotta finish my cup of coffee and go to work. |
| Wednesday, July 30th, 2008 |
| 11:36 am |
Sleep Dep (cross-posted myspace)
I'm having sleep issues. I fall asleep and then I wake up in the night and can't get back to sleep. Sometimes I have trouble falling asleep in the first place and then have trouble staying asleep once I fall asleep. I have many theories on why this is happening. One my husband use to go out every night and I was accustomed to waking up at 2am to see if he was going to come home or not. Once he was next to me I felt secure enough to sleep soundly. Good thing I have the dog to sleep next to me otherwise I don't think I'd sleep at all. The other theory is that for the past year I have been a new mom and woke up at all hours whenever the baby needed me. Now that baby sleeps through the night I still do not. Eventually I fall back asleep and time to get up seems to be too soon. I am exhuasted when I get up and very fuzzy headed. I have been very disconnected feeling and can't concontrate which deeply worries me because I need to get senior stuff done and I have no motivation to do any of it. I've tried sleep aids but I am worried that I will become dependent on them. If I take something I fall asleep fast and rest fairly well with little to no waking up but in the morning I still feel like sleeping instead of being rested and ready to start the day. |
| Sunday, July 27th, 2008 |
| 6:41 pm |
Life still has plenty of ups and downs. I felt lonely this weekend. I was driving around and remembered all the things we were doing at this time last year. We'd drive around in our beat up car with our dog in tow. We went to the river often. Swimming felt really good since I was 9 months pregnant at that point. Life seemed pretty good. My husband had a good job and we spent good time together on the weekends. We had a new home that was comfortable and I didn't have to work. Just be barefoot and pregnant. Little did I know just how much everything would soon change. As it is still changing. My teeth are fixed but very uncomfortable at the moment. My daughter is almost one and teething something fierce. My dog, well he's still here. I don't know what we'd do without him. Hey I got a few days off and it's Shark Week on the Discovery channel. That's pretty good. |
| Wednesday, July 16th, 2008 |
| 4:31 pm |
Nope just fat
Got my thyroid tested and it turns out I'm just fat and lazy. Great one more thing I need to fit into my routine. By the time I get home get me fed and her fed, keeping her happy and picking up the house then it's time to put her to bed and try to enoy an hour to myself. Wouldn't it be cool if the local gym had a nursey? Oh and I hate the schools gym. It's full of jocks that hog the machines and make you feel even worse. A simple walk every day would be a start but it's hot out and the best time to take a walk about be about 9:30 at night when it's finally getting cooler. Way too late for baby. Any mom's out there have some suggestions? My appetite is still set on breastfeeding mode. |
| Tuesday, July 15th, 2008 |
| 9:53 am |
I have been so tired lately. I am rapidly gaining weight again and not at all happy about that. I'm going to have my thyroid tested again. I lost all this weight when I was pregnant and continued to loose weight all the time I was breastfeeding and now it's coming back. I don't mean like oh I gained a pound or two this week. I mean like my pants fit last week and this week they don't. I took yesterday off to rest. I felt absolutly drained. I had my front teeth filled yesterday too. Not fun. My nose was all numb too. Keep thinking pretty teeth soon. |
| Tuesday, July 8th, 2008 |
| 2:49 pm |
Baby goes to work!
Today the daycare is closed due to some sewer problem and not having the water turned on. Kinda but a kink in my day. I was like okay baby comes to work with me today. Oh wait baby now scoots around on her butt and gets into everything. Must bring extra toys. Almost out the door already late. Oh wait daycare normally feeds her breakfast. I only keep baby breakfast foods on the weekends. Need to go to the store and get breakfast and feed her before work. Store, home and fed. Diaper change time and a little play time while I try to pack an efficient diaper bag for bringing baby to work. Baby's tired, cranky, rubbing eyes and diaper change again. Give her a bottle and lay her down in bed. Baby takes a nap. I eat lunch while I can and lay down with her. Baby wakes up after hour and a half nap. Happy baby after diaper change again. Grab all our stuff and head to work oh about 1:30 in the afternoon. 2:00pm oh it's baby lunch time. Sit her on the table in the break room and then set her next to my desk to play with blocks. Hmm shoe laces are more fun. 3:01pm it's only a matter of time before she becomes bored and cranky. How likely is it that I will be able to get her to take a second nap here at work? Luckily I have leave time and this morning at home is covered. |
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